48 times around the sun
MIB #038 - A letter to my mom and sister
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Dear sister and momma,
“Fate shuffles the cards. We play them,” is the message crafted into the talisman you’ve given me as I embark around the sun for my 48th trip.
How did 48 years go by so fast!?
Little did you know a little gold with an etched-in message would hit my skin, my chest (along with my other birthday talismans), and I was going to FEEL it. Feel it ripple gently through my body and soul. Well, it did and it has.
Fate shuffles the cards, we play them. Thank you. Thank you for being patient with me as I’ve grown up, crossing over threshold after threshold after threshold. Healing hard patterns - like codependency, restricted eating disorder, excessive exercise disorder, and not fully integrating and understanding that I was my own Self within our family system. The spaces you both have held for me while I’ve grown up I could not see or feel they were coming from your place of love, which is different than my place of love, but now our places of love feel like they’re starting to understand each other. Safe, to feel safe with you two is the sweetest gift I could ever receive.
Fate shuffles the cards, we play them. You have only wanted to protect me, no wonder I found wonder in throwing myself off cliffs and mountains and waves in my 20s. Maybe I thought I could scare y’all, but really I just needed to scare myself which helped me start waking up. To my Self, to my soul, to being not y’all but being me.
You gave me a little talisman, but really it feels like y’all are part of the gift-giving team opening me to the world that was designed for me. I have been holding this world light a ball of light in my palms for the past week. Sitting with the power, the love, the ease, the abundance, the magnetism, and sitting with connection.
Sister and momma, thank you for the best gift ever - a new era of connection and love and stability. I feel seen and loved and heard and it is fun! I love love love love love you both.
Happy birth day to your uterus, mom. Sister, happy birth day to getting a little sisthter 😈 again and also a good friend. 🤟🏼🤟🏼🤟🏼🤟🏼🤟🏼 I love you.
PS..our family is not the same without Dad, but it’s just been us for 15 years next week and I love who we are becoming. Together.